Desperate Housewives: Switzerland Style

Anyone that's familiar with the TV show 'Desperate Housewives' (or really any tv drama that once was decent but has long since run its course) knows that it's a world filled with secrets, deception, and gossip. Welcome to Yens, Switzerland.

It's become understood that there's some sort of drama amongst the wives (or host mothers, as our case presents) of Yens, but none of the students can quite figure it out. Most of our knowledge of the drama comes from off-handed comments, most of which are probably unintentional but all too divulging of a relationship packed with stories. I guess the best way to do this would be to first give a character summary of sorts (not going to name names here)...

First off, the main characters, family #1. Mother with a particularly "strong" personality who can be heard from a mile away and makes her opinions apparently known to more than just those in her house. Excellent chef but not satisfied until you've taken at least 3 servings. Known as the person stealing food off the bar for a certain canine companion brought to the host family Raclette dinner (side note: a Swiss tradition-giant wheel of cheese under a flame, scrape the top layer of the melted cheese off the top, eat with boiled potatoes. Heaven.). And the person who supposedly chased someone's daughter around the house with a broom?? 14 year old daughter with a 16 year old boyfriend who sleeps over sometimes. Daughter was a self-proclaimed 'best kisser in town' at age 11. A 12 year old judo superstar son. A father who works hard for his family (but has been known to come home from work after one-or 5-too many at the bar one afternoon). And a certain golden retriever that's more loved than any other member of the family, but his life is a whole other story in and of itself. Anyway...

Next, the quiet, passive (and possibly aggressive) neighbor who is always just to darn sweet to say anything outright mean but always manages to slip her opinions of people into pleasant conversation with most excellent timing. I'll always wonder how she does it. 2 children. More to come on that...

Then there's the mother who is too good-hearted to say anything bad about someone, even if she doesn't like them (even takes things to the level of going for coffee and galavanting through forests with certain neighbors she actually isn't very fond of). A tragic and troubled past few years, but that's another story not relevant to our saga. Oh, and she lives in what used to be the chateau (yes, that's castle) of Yens. It has a historian and enough rooms to rent out an apartment and host 3 host students at the same time.

Then there's the 'fun' family: single mom currently seeing a Portuguese man. Her mother allegedly hit the boyfriend and is now in the middle of a heated court case. 19 year old boy who lives a more wild life than I could ever hope (or not) to imagine (direct quote: "when I was sixteen I was drinking in the clubs while you were sitting at home with your parents."-I'm not really sure how to take this because I've found I quite enjoy sitting at home with my parents) and 22 year old girl who just broke up with her boyfriend for the 53rd time. But this time it's 'for good.' Oh, and Stedi, the dog.

Possible plot lines for the pilot episode of our show:

The love triangle (of dogs)- Igor the Golden retriever claims he loves Hawan the Collie from across the street, but Stedi down at the train station might have other plans in mind. Hawan always comes over to try and keep Igor's affection but in the meantime, eats all of his food and is getting fat and hence just driving Igor farther away. Will she keep his love?

Childhood romance-Son of the soft spoken mother had a secret and time-sensitive engagement on valentines day. Girlfriend? There's rumor going around that he's seeing the daughter of the local witch doctor in town, who, evidently does not get on well with boy's mother and has been spotted in the street late at night practicing some sort of spells. And to add to that, witch doctor had a host student who moved out because he got too freaked out, and he now lives in the castle and looks like a blond Harry Potter according to his host sister (which sounds great, but in reality, she actually has the hots for the 16 year old host student staying in soft-spoken mother's house).

Horror story-there are 3 freezers in the basement of wild host mother's house and a FOUL smell in the bedroom next door. Theories? The one freezer that's stocked entirely with meat and is the size of a small boat is actually filled with past students who did not get on well with Igor. As for the conspicuous smell in the floorboards of the bedroom, one can draw their own conclusions...a stretch and perhaps a bit vulgar, but why would you need 3 industrial sized freezers for a family of 4?

Kids-12 year old daughter of quiet mother is best friends with 14 year old girl with boyfriend but can't stand her brother who's actually her age.

And theres also the fact that apparently no one is too fond of mother #1, no matter how welcoming she seems to be. This opinion has been made evident on numerous occasions by numerous people. An enigma I don't think I'll ever solve.

Welcome to my life in the little village of Yens. I know I complained about it at first, but it's really unfolding into quite an entertaining story that I wouldn't want to miss just for the sake of living closer. Guess things always have a way of working themselves out...